THE 30 BEST HALLOWEEN CANDIES EVER

By ANDY KRYZA Updated On 10/18/2018 at 01:01PM EST@apkryza  -COLE SALADINO/THRILLIST 

COLE SALADINO/THRILLIST

COLE SALADINO/THRILLIST

COLE SALADINO/THRILLIST

COLE SALADINO/THRILLIST

30. Airheads 

This are basically less delicious, lighter Laffy Taffy, but without the sense of humor or sense of identity. 

29. Jolly Ranchers 

If you got the long, rectangular, flat Jolly Ranchers all the time, these would rank way, way higher. As it were, you usually get a couple of the cylindrical ones, and they've generally either shed part of their wrapper or had it meld to the candy, leading me to believe that people who hand out Jolly Ranchers for Halloween keep them under a heat lamp beforehand just to be evil. 

28. Sour Patch Kids 

The whole cannibalism angle is really fun, but at the end of the day these remind me of Swedish Fish rolled in sugar and sour stuff. 

27. Runts 

The bananas get all the glory here, mostly because they’re the only ones that taste like what they look like. Though, honestly, I’ve never eaten a little pink heart, either, so maybe the flavor is extremely accurate. 

26. Blow Pops 

The best of the lollipop options is a master shape shifter. Neither the gum nor the candy is particularly good. But get impatient and chew the thing up and you’ve got some sort of beautiful chemistry that happens between the broken glass-like candy and the soft gum. 

COLE SALADINO/THRILLIST

COLE SALADINO/THRILLIST

25. Whoppers 

Nobody claims to love Whoppers. Yet they can’t stop once they’ve had one, probably because the weird textural transformation that happens when saliva hits the malt is the closest we can get to opening an old-school soda jerk in our mouths. 

24. Milk Duds 

Jockeying with Now & Laters for the candy most likely to yank out a loose tooth, Milk Duds offer a big of reprieve from binge-eating, largely because the irresistible urge to dump a whole tiny box in your mouth means you’re going to be stuck chewing for at least five minutes.

23. Milky Way 

Nobody ever requests a Milky Way, and typically these candy bars fight it out for bottom-of-the-bag dominance with 3 Musketeers (which you'll definitely not see on this list) and hateful pennies. Like Caramello on a budget, Milky Ways are perfectly serviceable, and provide the sugar blast you need. Side note: Why doesn't anyone ever hand out Caramellos?

22. Laffy Taffy 

Some extremely artificial fruit flavoring, a sore jaw, and a couple of wrapper jokes that you feel embarrassed for chuckling at (and that you suspect Dave Coulier either wrote or stole)? Bring it.

21. Nerds 

Nerds are just little sugar boogers with a slight hint of fruit flavor, but they sadly don't come in flavor combo packs at Halloween. Dump random flavors in your mouth and hope for the best.

COLE SALADINO/THRILLIST

COLE SALADINO/THRILLIST

20. Skittles 

Skittles would be way higher on this list if I could forget that time I put a whole bag in my mouth and cut the insides of my cheeks on all the sugar shrapnel that exploded everywhere. On the other hand, getting Skittles directly into your bloodstream is kind of amazing.

19. PayDay 

Are PayDays kind of a grandpa candy? Yeah. Are they an underrated explosion of salty peanuts nougat, and caramel? Absolutely. Maybe grandpa was onto something. Or maybe this is why he lost his teeth prematurely. Either way: underrated. 

18. Haribo Gummies  

There are more than two dozen variations on Haribo Gummies, but you're probably not getting Dinosaurs or Frogs or whatever. You're getting the Gold Bears. Which is cool, but there just aren't enough in a fun-sized bag to make you forget about the wonders of Twin Snakes or Happy Cola. 

17. Junior Mints 

A delicious reminder that your candy tastes are as outdated as your Soup Nazi costume. 

16. Twizzlers 

The Swiss Army knife of candy, Twizzlers are not only delicious in their artificial strawberry glory, are also an excellent solution to drinking in a post-plastic straw era. They're also excellent whips and work as ropes. MacGyver didn't invent these. But at one point, I'm pretty sure he used them to siphon gas and suture a wound. But not in that order. 

COLE SALADINO/THRILLIST

COLE SALADINO/THRILLIST

15. Baby Ruth 

Basically PayDays, but covered in chocolate and paired with the crushing disappointment you feel when the kids don't understand your incessant Goonies references. But hey, keep trying. Nerd. 

14. M&M's 

If they were embedded in a cookie or something, they might be No. 1, but M&Ms are still pretty great on their own. Especially if they're the peanut kind. Or the peanut butter kind. Or the pretzel kind... actually, why don't they make a little bag with all the different flavors inside? That would put it in contention for the top five. Take heed, Mars.

13. Flavored Tootsie Rolls 

Go ahead and call this a garbage take, preferably while pelting me with these, the absolute most underrated treat in the bag. These things seem to only exist during Halloween or in your grandma's candy dish but, damn it, they offer the chance to do some great alchemy. Pop a vanilla and an orange in your mouth? Creamsicle. A lemon and a lime? Sprite candy. Eat them all at once? You're a crazy person. We should hang out.

12. Heath 

The Heath bar makes you feel like a little British schoolboy with its toffee butteriness, and will make you look like one when your teeth eventually fall out from all the toffee you have lodged in your molars for weeks on end. It's a small price to pay for a brittle little piece of perfection.

11. Starbursts 

Another in the pantheon of candy-based chemistry, Starbursts come in so many flavors, the permutations among flavor combinations are almost endless. Until you get a little pack with two lemons in it -- a cruel twist of fate that happens all too often. 

COLE SALADINO/THRILLIST

COLE SALADINO/THRILLIST

10. Hershey's Bars 

The American classic is the best melt-in-your-mouth, no-frills candy in the bag. Toss in some almonds and you've got a beast. Toss in Cookies 'n' Creme and you'll wonder what the hell you're even eating.

9. Reese's Pieces 

They have the same shape and same coating as M&M's, but only one has built-in peanut butter. You no longer have to wonder what it would be like if they stuffed these in a Peanut Butter Cup, but that shouldn't stop you from making a DIY version.

8. Nestle Crunch 

Finally something healthy. Rice puffs are healthy, right? Especially when they're covered with Nestlé's deliciously melty milk chocolate. If you let one sit in your mouth unchewed for long enough, it dissolves into a poor man's Cocoa Krispies.

7. Mr. Goodbar 

The snack so delicious that simply calling it Goodbar seemed like a sign of disrespect, Mr. is the king of the Hershey's variety pack -- a simple, peanutty bit of awesome that puts Krackel to shame.

6. 100 Grand 

Some kind soul decided to make a candy bar that tastes like a more caramel-laden cousin to Little Debbie's unsung Star Crunch, and what did we do? We forgot about it. Relegated it to a bar more associated with buying overpriced candy during a Boy Scouts fundraising drive than the outstanding snack it truly is. 100 Grand deserved better. 

COLE SALADINO/THRILLIST

COLE SALADINO/THRILLIST

5. Butterfinger 

It's like somebody took a bunch of peanut butter, transformed it into the world's thinnest toffee, and layered it underneath a blanket of chocolate. And when you bite it, the little flakes pop off and melt on your tongue like butter produced by a chocolate cow.

4. KitKat 

It's the closest your Halloween bag's gonna come to having a sandwich inside, and let's be honest: milk chocolate and sugary wafers are way better than a tiny tuna on rye, especially after they've been sitting in a pillowcase for a few hours. Plus, the two-by-two snack-size KitKat acts as an adorable accessory for your Hacksaw Jim Duggan costume.

3. Snickers 

It's easily the heartiest of all candy bars: nougat, caramel, nuts, and chocolate represent pretty much every food group. And this is one that's hard to eat in a single bite, even when you're going bite-size. It's worth the effort nevertheless, and makes for a solid accessory for your Pissed-Off Betty White costume.

2. Twix 

The cookie crunch. The deliciously hard caramel. The ultra-silky chocolate. There are a lot of things to love about Twix (three, actually), but this thing's even better in fun-size form. The ratios between the three main components are simply perfect, striking a balance that makes a lifetime insulin prescription totally worth it.

COLE SALADINO/THRILLIST

COLE SALADINO/THRILLIST

1. Reese's Peanut Butter Cups 

Not only is it the greatest candy out there, it's also one of the greatest snacks, period,the perfect alchemy of peanut butter and chocolate. And it's so, so versatile... especially at Halloween. Are you devouring the mini, with its jagged chocolate edges? The medium-cup, in all its one-biteable glory? Or the pumpkin, which serves as a vessel to get as much sugary peanut butter in your mouth as possible? It's your lucky day: there's no way to go wrong eating a Reese's.

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Andy Kryza is a senior editor at Thrillist who believes all candy is good candy. Follow him to combative annual physical exams @apkryza.