Christmas Creep Continues Carelessly Crashing our Culture
by Derek Holser, Tastemaker in Residence
‘Twas the week after Halloween, when on every TV in our humble home,
No news or sports were a-viewing; Hallmark had claimed the throne,
The remote was sequestered; Mother ordered no channels dare be changed,
Not even to watch the Netflix phenomenon about the Things which be Strange,
The children were miserable and whining, their tears fell like rain,
While visions of just one suspense film danced in my brain,
But mamma was in her Hallmark, and I was in the cold,
No matter that it’s November 4, Hallmark had tales to be told¦
I digress, but it’s likely that I’m not the only husband in America who has experienced the near monopoly of my beloved wife’s time by the cavalcade – nay, torrent – of nearly identical characters in charming towns fighting cruel businessmen in big cities who hate Christmas. Along the way, someone falls in love, the beauty of simple is celebrated, and of course, there’s at least one Christmas miracle!
(To learn more about why it’s so popular, click here:
Headlined by former 80’s sitcom stars like Candace Cameron-Bure and Lori Loughlin, as well as the ever-present Lacey Chabert, Hallmark has struck television gold in recent years by spinning cheap and pointless drivel that draws out the sentimental sap in all of us. Which is fine, except that it starts two months before Christmas Day. (In the case of Family for Christmas, it’s 5 months before Christmas)
Now, I’m no Scrooge, and I was kind of ok with the parade of shop windows and store displays pushing sales and Christmas cheer long before I had a chance to wait in the eternal line at Honey Baked Ham the day before Thanksgiving. It’s just that the Christmas Creep has gotten a little too creepy. It won’t be long until the following cartoon is true…
As my final offer of proof that Christmas creep is not just annoying but can be downright dangerous, a recent report from a psychologist tells us how “too-early” Christmas music can cause mental anguish and emotional distress…
For the sake of Abraham Lincoln, who initiated Thanksgiving in 1863, can we just wait until December 1st for the barrage of Christmas cheer? For the sake of the children, can we wait until the end of November before assailing them with an avalanche of toys for sale? And for the sake of long-suffering husbands everywhere, can we wait until, say, November 15, before we have to watch the perpetual positivity prancing from the Hallmark Studios?
Boundaries are a good thing, and not just in personal relationships.